At this time of year, once the holidays are over and school-age children are back in their routines, many people decide to begin the process of divorce. As a counter-part to the recent post about how to start a divorce, this post will cover how to respond to papers if your spouse files for divorce.
1. If you see it coming, start preparing. Gather records, get control over some financial resources: cash, accounts, credit cards. You need to have some financial resources under your control that you can depend on. Cash and credit cards are very helpful, but cleaning out the accounts and leaving nothing for your spouse probably will hurt you in the long run. You will need to think about the respective living arrangements for you and your spouse. If you have kids, how will you take care of them, pay any necessary bills and share time with them with your spouse? Don’t just sit around, start planning and anticipating. Get some help from friends and professionals.
2. If you didn’t see it coming, start preparing, but move faster. If you have to play catch-up, do so. You still need to do a lot of planning, even if you get surprised. Start as soon as you can.
3. Research your options. Collaborative law is always worth considering. You might have to go into litigation, but mediation is usually an effective way to resolve cases. Talk to an experienced attorney about the best way to proceed.
4. Decide what’s important for you. Figure out what you would like to end up with. That includes financial assets, issues involving children and any other concerns you have. Spend time at the start of the process to determine what you want and you will have a better chance of being satisfied. Just defaulting to “half of everything” and “standard” possession or child support may not be in your best interest. Think about it and discuss the issues with your attorney and counselor (if you have one).
5. Select an attorney. Look for experience, training, cost and chemistry. Find out how much experience your prospective attorney has with the issues of your case. Make sure the attorney is affordable. It doesn’t benefit you or the attorney to hire the most expensive attorney and hope that you will somehow be able to afford him or her. There are many fine attorneys at different price ranges. Finally, and maybe most importantly, make sure you and the attorney have good chemistry.
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