Parenting plans govern how parents of minor children will handle child custody and parenting (also known as legal and physical custody.) To some extent, all parenting plans need a degree of specificity and a degree of flexibility. The question is where do those degrees lie for you and your situation?
A flexible parenting plan might leave which days of the week the children will be with the noncustodial parent up to the parties. A highly specific parenting plan might detail in which home the children will spend Memorial Day weekend eight years from now.
A parenting plan is used to guide the parents, but the terms of the plan are also there to be enforced by the court, if needed. There will be some items in the plan that the parents do not mutually enforce, for example a specific time for exchanges. If the parents are able to communicate and get along well, they may be flexible as to these terms, even though they are specified in the plan. It may or may not be necessary for the parents to formally modify the plan to incorporate the changes, depending on (a) whether the change will be ongoing; and (b) whether at some point a dispute will arise about whether the variance is a “done deal” or not.
If the variance is ongoing and/or there is some likelihood of dispute in the future, the plan should be modified in writing, to memorialize the new arrangements. For some parents, to memorialize every variance would be a constant, never-ending task. So a balance must be struck between the specific aspects and the flexible aspects of the parenting plan.
If you are working on a parenting plan, consider consulting a family lawyer for assistance.
Adapted from the Minnesota Divorce and Family Law Blog.
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