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Getting ready to dissolve your marriage?  Think that your spouse might be?  Here are some steps that you can take:

1. Make a list and check it twice. Know where you (and your spouse)  have bank accounts, retirement savings, real estate, life insurance policies, mutual funds, credit cards, other important financial information, and important documents such as social security cards, passports, birth and stock certificates.

2. Gather financial information. Obtain statements and balances for bank accounts, plus copies of prenuptial agreements, wills and trusts. Collect as many of your spouse’s pay stubs as possible. In some professions there are multiple paychecks. Some jobs involve bonuses or commissions in addition to paychecks.  Try and capture as much of this information as possible, if it’s relevant to your spouse’s earnings.

3. Safeguard heirlooms and liquid assets. Seek appraisals for artwork, antiques, and other collectibles. Take any sentimental or important objects to a friend’s house for safekeeping. Be certain that your name is recorded on the house deed or apartment lease.

4. Open a bank account in your name. It only takes one party to raid an account, and you don’t want to be left without any money. Certainly do not deposit any more of your own money into a joint account, even if you transfer that into your own name. Establish a new account for future deposits, preferably at another bank. This is where you can keep an emergency fund to live on and pay legal bills, at least until support is established.

5. Establish credit in your own name. As soon as separation takes place, cancel or report missing jointly held credit cards. Then, go out and set up new accounts in your name only.

Tune in for Part II next week!

If you think that you may be heading towards a divorce, a consultation with an experienced family law attorney can help you understand the best ways to prepare and protect yourself and your family.

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… well, maybe not EVERYTHING!

Family law mediation is a process where people with a family law issue seek the help of an experienced mediator to help them reach a collaborative solution, rather than taking the matters to a judge. Most family law mediators will help you file the necessary paperwork with the court once you reach an agreement, or provide you with resources that will help you file.

Mediation starts with an introductory session that focuses on answering questions about the mediation process and how it works, as well as identifying the major issues in the situation which will require resolution.

Mediation is a voluntary procedure and parties can decide to stop mediating at any point. One concern parties often have is what might happen if mediation does not result in resolution, and they must litigate their family law issue. Under California family law, whatever you communicate with a mediator will remain confidential.  For example, the potential asset division that you discussed during mediation can not be brought up in court. Most mediations are, however, successful.

The role of the mediator is to be neutral, explain the parties rights and obligations, and facilitate communication between the parties. In most divorce-related arguments, both partners are reluctant to listen to each other and often ignore or deflect reasonable positions taken by the other party. This is where a mediator can help by reframing and helping to shift perspective.

If you believe that you considering a divorce, consult a family law mediator to see if it might be a good option for your situation.  Mediation is most often more time and cost-effective than litigation and allows the parties to retain much greater control over the outcome.

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